


Tonight

by Stacy LA Stronach (slashgirl)



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-02-10
Updated: 2007-02-10
Packaged: 2017-10-10 21:47:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/104656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slashgirl/pseuds/Stacy%20LA%20Stronach
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hotch comforts Reid in the hospital.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tonight

**Author's Note:**

> Hotch comforts Reid in the hospital.

"Tonight, I need your sweet caress, hold me in the darkness  
Tonight, you calm my restlessness, you relieve my sadness."  
Hands to heaven by Breathe

Aaron Hotchner stands in the doorway of Spencer Reid's hospital room, watching him climb out of bed and make his way to the clothes locker where his things are stored. Spencer grabs his pants, frantically searching through the pockets and he makes a distressed sound when he finds nothing.

Hotch walks into the room and Spencer turns his head to look at him; Hotch is sure he can see guilt in those hazel eyes. Lifting up the evidence bag with the vials in it, Hotch asks, "Looking for these, Spencer?"

Spencer turns around, his face going pale when he sees what Hotch is holding. "It was…I…." He manages to get back to his bed, sitting down heavily. "I didn't think anyone would see me."

"You were collecting evidence, right?" Hotch says gently.

Spencer can't look at him; he stares out the window, at the wall, at anything but Hotch, but doesn't reply.

Hotch pockets the bag. "Spencer, even if I hadn't seen you, didn't you realise we'd be checking your stuff?" Hotch gazes at him for a moment before sitting beside him. He reaches over, taking Spencer's hand in his own and is relieved when Spencer doesn't pull away. "Why?"

"I want to forget, I don't want to remember," he says, voice barely above a whisper.

Hotch lets go of Spencer's hand, sliding an arm around his shoulders. "I know how hard this is—"

Spencer jumps up, turning to face Hotch and glaring at him. "What the fuck do you know about how hard this is? What in the hell do you know about being tortured by a psychopath!" Spencer's voice is low and hoarse, his face a mask of rage. "What the fuck do you know about being drugged, and beaten and left alone in the dark and having to choose someone to live or die? What the fuck do you know…." Spencer's voice trails off and his shoulders sag as the energy seems to drain out of him. "What do you know about it?" he whispers.

Hotch watches him for a couple of minutes and then holds his hands out. "Come here, Spencer, please?"

Spencer hesitates before moving to stand in front of Hotch. Reaching out, Hotch catches Spencer's hands in his own and he stares at him, his eyes watering with unshed tears. When he speaks, his voice is rough and quiet. "There are things about me that you don't know yet, things I haven't shared with you…but please, please believe me when I tell you that I _do_ know what it's like to be beaten by a psychopath—almost every day of my life until I was seven; I know what it's like to be left alone, thrown into a closet and locked away like so much trash; I know what it's like to be forced to choose between life and death. But I know more than that, Spencer."

Hotch pauses and sees the shocked look on Spencer's face. "I know that _you_ will survive this and that you can do it without those drugs. I know that you'll have nightmares that will haunt you, but they WILL fade, in time. I know that you will never forget; even without an eidetic memory, I've never forgotten what happened to me…but eventually those memories will become part of the fabric of who you are…you learn to live with them and deal with them and it's not easy, but I know you can do it. You are so strong, Spencer, one of the strongest people I know." Hotch stops again and looks at Spencer, who is desperately trying to not cry; he cups Spencer's face in his hand and Spencer nuzzles his face against it, kissing Hotch's palm. Hotch continues, "I know two more things: it's okay to cry, because I am here for you…and that I love you, so much."

The strength seems to go out of Spencer's body and he falls forward and Hotch catches him, wrapping his arms tightly around him. Spencer slides his arms around Hotch's waist and great shuddering sobs spill from him. It breaks Hotch's heart to hear the sobs and to feel Spencer's body shaking from the force of it. Spencer presses his face against Hotch's shoulder, and has his arms wrapped tightly around Hotch, like a drowning man holding onto a piece of driftwood. Hotch rubs Spencer's back with one hand, while he strokes his hair with the other, murmuring gently as Spencer releases some of his pain.

They stay like this for a few minutes, until Spencer's sobbing has quieted to hitching breaths and some sniffles. Hotch slides off the bed, keeping Spencer in his embrace. He then moves and picks Spencer up, laying him in the bed.

"I'm not a baby, you know!" Spencer protests, still holding onto Hotch's arm but not really complaining.

Hotch just grins and grabs some tissue from the small box on the nightstand and hands it to Spencer. When he tries to stand up, Spencer looks up at him, panic stricken and he holds onto Hotch's hand even tighter. "Please don't leave me!" Spencer begs.

Smiling gently, Hotch brushes the hair off Spencer's face. "I'm not leaving; I just want to get my jacket off, okay?"

"Okay," Spencer says and he's staring at Hotch. "Can you…I'd like it if…um, you'd sleep with me tonight, please?"

"Of course," Hotch says as he toes off his shoes. He reaches up and pulls his tie out of its knot before undoing the top few buttons of his shirt; he also undoes the buttons on the cuffs and rolls up the sleeves.

He climbs into the bed, pulling the blankets up before settling down next to Spencer, who rolls over onto his side, facing Hotch and cuddling in close to him. Leaning in, Hotch presses a gentle kiss against Spencer's mouth; the younger man sighs and licks at Hotch's lips. Hotch opens his mouth to Spencer and they share a slow, languid, tongue filled kiss; one that's meant to comfort rather than arouse. They press their bodies close together, hands stroking and caressing one another; part desire, part reassurance.

Spencer, after several minutes, pulls back and just looks at Hotch, smiling at him. "I love you so much, Aaron."

Aaron smiles in return, raising his hand to stroke along Spencer's face. "I love you, too, Spence, I have for a while…"

Noticing something different about Hotch's hand, Spencer grabs the left one and frowns. "Where's your wedding ring?"

"In my car."

"What? Why, what's going on?" Spencer asks frantically.

Hotch takes a deep breath. "I'm leaving Haley."

Spencer stares at Hotch in shock. "What? I don't…didn't think you'd—"

Pressing a finger against Spencer's mouth, Hotch says, "Spencer, when I had to watch you being beaten and tortured on that video…it felt like part of me was dying. And then in the graveyard, when I heard the gunshot and didn't know if you'd shot Hankel or he'd shot you? Those few seconds until I saw you were alive, were the longest of my life," Hotch is near tears again and he presses his face against Spencer's hand before continuing. "I realised that I loved you; more than I'd ever loved Haley and that I wanted to be with you, not just be sleeping with you on the side….I really shouldn't have let our affair go on so long before—"

Hotch is silenced by the press of Spencer's mouth against his own. Spencer then looks at him and smiles, sadly. "I wish we didn't have to hurt anyone to be together. I'm sorry."

"I'm not. I love you too much for that. It isn't fair to Haley to keep up the pretence of the perfect family."

"I doubt she'll agree with you on that," Spencer says wryly.

Hotch chuckles. "Probably not. But don't worry about it…just worry about getting better, okay? Try and get some sleep, I'll be here for you."

Spencer nods and snuggles in closer to Hotch, who holds onto him. It doesn't take long for Spencer to fall asleep and Hotch watches him for a long time, fully aware of the precious second chance that he's been given.


End file.
